Warning: Salacious* Content Below!

I'll be honest. As a 25-year old male with the mind of a 15-year old and the attention span of a 5-year old, I only use the internet for three main purposes:

• To help with Work.

• To find Porn.

• To assuage Boredom.

I prefer the third option, believe it or not. How else would you stumble upon a little bit of genius like The Problems of Being an Egg, from Gumtree's genuinely funny Gumtastic Ads.

Reproduced below without permission, but the author is a dairy product, so one would assume he is unlikely to have legal representation:

Please find below the problems of being an Egg

1- You only get laid once

2- It takes you three minutes to get hard, and when you do someone hits you over the head with a cold spoon

3- Only your mother gets to sit on your face

4- When you come, its in a box with Eleven others

5- Your father was a cock

This was hard to write as being an Egg myself i had to face many of the listed concerns - help please.

Advice, anyone?

*to improve your voculabulary